Feeling dense, dark, without a shadow of relief, I could feel what can only be described as depression.  My mind however dull it was feeling was grasping for reasons and possible solutions - what had made me so angry and explosive this week only to crash in my own internal world of darkness?  Reaching for all that I know can heal me, bring me back to my happy motivated, bubbly self, it all seemed useless.  Even the word 'God', 'Spirit' seemed empty and powerless on this occasion.  Trying to convince myself that this time I had somehow slipped to the depths od despair, from which there is no way back, I resigned myself to 'being' this way forever - that I am essentially unwell, mentally sick!

What a contrast from last week where pure perfection was all I could muster.  My mind thought of the children's book character Little Miss Lucky - that was me last week.  What had gone wrong between then and now?  Suddenly the Voice of wisdom I had tried to force to save me a minute ago spoke to me, through me:  "Perhaps there should be a Little Miss Control, a Little Miss Try to Force Life to Meet My Small View of the World!!!!!"  

"Really?" I replied.  Was I trying to control everything again.  Had I so easily and quickly forgotten to surrender to life; to accept others behaviour; to accept that Mercury is in retrograde; that I had too many thing to do and not enough time; it was clear I had.  In this realisation I felt like an instant return to LOVE.  Like the denseness of my small mind a moment ago, now spread into an inner expanse where stress has no place.  After all, if I surrender and no longer have to 'control' my life, my outcomes, and other people to ensure I get the outcomes I desire, then really I'm giving myself permission to be free!  This is the pemission we all need to bring ourselves back to each day.  In doing so, we give the Divine permission to take care of us, of our 'small' matters in a truly miraculous ways.  We have all had times like this where we have managed to be like super heroes achieving so much in a day or a week without much effort at all.  This is the way it is meant to be always, I remind myself......

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Helen Paige is a Spiritual Teacher who shares her spiritual teachings with love, compassion and truth.  Her work in raising the consciousness of the planet has spanned over 10 years, and she continues to inspire others through her simple and profound insights. She currently works as a Medical Intuitive in Melbourne Australia, and runs workshops and medical intuitive training for those seeking a highly evolved way of living and working.  She is the author of 'Guardian of the Light' Book and Meditation CD, and 'Healing in the Now' CD Therapeutic Program.  Visit her website at www.HelenPaige.com